The last day of the Championship season

To celebrate(?) the last day of the Championship, each of the wizards has chosen a song to sum up their team’s season.

Kicker of Elves (Leeds United)

“I dare not say the way I feel about your inability to suck it up and win the match”

Top of the league after 7 games and then we lost. To Millwall. And that, seemingly, was that. Our captain and self-styled hard man, Liam Cooper, announces just before the end of the season that “the Millwall defeat in September hit the players hard and they haven’t ever truly recovered from that.” Oh. Fucking. Grow. Up.

In a season where our best player was banned for 6 games for spitting. we got knocked out in the cup by a fourth division side from Wales, thought it was a good idea to prepare for our centenary year with a change of badge designed by someone who clearly had never been to West Yorkshire, but probably had had heartburn, our stand out performance was against Millwall again. And we lost. Again.

Of course, we changed manager and, of course, that made things worse and now we see fit to take our pathetic team to a war-torn country in the name of ‘selling the brand’. Haven’t those poor people suffered enough?

“Of course I’m not complaining, I’m simply dying…”

MOT

Chorizo Garbanzo (QPR)

As our League position illustrates it’s been a mixed season for QPR. We’ve never looked remotely like going up or down and that’s fine by me, especially considering the huge self-inflicted hangover the club now have to endure following the disastrous and idiotic over-spending during the Mark Hughes and Harry Redknapp eras.

Results at Fortress Loftus Road have been largely positive, only 5 teams have won more home games than us. Away matches have been dire with just 3 wins all season, worse than any other team in the division bar one (more details below). Seeing as these days I live 200 miles from Shepherds Bush and go to far more away games than home games, I consider myself very lucky to have witnessed one of those rare away wins (3-1 v Burton Albion)

The main positive of this season has been emergence of several youngsters who are beginning to establish themselves as first team regulars. Six players aged 21 or under have scored for the first team this season, more than any other team in the division. Maybe it’s still true that “you can’t win anything with kids” but you can attain mid-table mediocrity if the kids are alright!

Rebel Rikkit (Bolton Wanderers)

The exhilaration of promotion was not expected to last and so it was that after 10 games we propped up the table with no wins and only 2 points. Lets just recap that: after 17% of all the games had been played we had not won one. Imagine what that was like for a season ticket holder week after frustrating week.

Then the freewheeling, man mountain centre-forward is persuaded to go give up drinking alcohol and our form turns. All of a sudden the sniggering behind the hand at the chant “Gary Madine Goal Machine” didn’t seem such a good idea. The goals came not just from Gary’s usually unreliable head but tap-ins, pile-drivers and even free kicks bent round the wall from 30 yards. By the transfer window we were 6 points away from the relegation zone, the boardroom squabbles were settled, the wage bill was manageable and everything at the club seemed rosy. There was just a small matter of a £6 million loan to be paid at the end of the season if only we could find a way out of that. Oh that’s right we could sell Gary Madine!! What could possible go wrong?

We head to the last game second from bottom and face almost certain relegation. Only one song can sum this up…