Everything You Always Wanted To Know About trustthewizards.com * (*But Were Afraid To Ask)

What’s going on?
Trust the Wizards is a podcast and blog about music.
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Who are you?
There are 3 of us wizards and we go by the names Kicker Of Elves, Rebel Rikkit and Chorizo Garbanzo. More about us here.

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Where’s your head at?
To give you an idea of where we’re coming from music-taste-wise, here’s a lovely thing showing our 50 favourite albums of all-time. You can also see some of the music we go on about just on the left there in that interactive tag cloud thingy.
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Who do you think you are?
We believe we are the wizards as foretold by the great prophet Hicks.
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Where did it start?
For many years, the 3 of us have been gig-going buddies. When we aren’t doing that, we like to go round each other’s houses to play and discuss records whilst eating lots of biscuits. Every December, each of us selects our favourite tracks released that year and puts them on a “best of the year” CD (previously a C90) which we then distribute to each other. A couple of weeks later, we get together to commend/slate each other’s choices. In November 2011, on a Manchester pavement after this Wedding Present gig, Rebel Rikkit came up with the idea of recording our ramblings and sharing them with the wider world. Taking inspiration from a Guided By Voices song, Kicker of Elves came up with the name  And lo, the legend of the wizards was born.
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What do I get?
A feast of delights awaits you on our website.

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Where do I begin?
Maybe start with the podcasts and after that the world is your lobster.
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Are you experienced?
Between the 3 of us, we’ve:

  • been sworn at by John Lydon
  • shared a stage with at least 3 different number 1 artistes
  • done time for theft and disturbing the peace
  • lived in every continent
  • accidentally insulted Everything But the Girl twice
  • represented Lancashire at cricket
  • run marathons in England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland
  • been a finalist in the UK Pac Man Championships
  • played peek-a-boo with Roy Keane

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What gives you the idea that you’re so amazing, baby?
You’re wondering why you should trust these wizards, right? Between the 3 of us, we own well over 10,000 albums and have been to approximately 1,000 gigs. In short, music is an obsession. Our wives and kids are fed up of hearing us going on about obscure b-sides and long-forgotten bands so we thought we’d try you guys instead. Like the John Peel or Andy Kershaw shows that enthused us, we don’t expect you to like all the music we’re going to play. But hopefully each of our podcasts will contain some songs you’ve never heard before, some songs that make you want to go and hear more of that band, some songs that stir up a feeling and every now and again a song that you really don’t like at all.
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What Presence!?
Although we are not an independent state (yet!) we do have our own anthem, specially written for us by the wonderful Stereo Electric Mistress.
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How’m I gonna sleep?
Health officials have warned about the dangers of over-exposing yourself to too much of the wizards’ meisterworks in one sitting. Total immersion can cause over-stimulation of the brain and booty. Doctors advise that you listen to the podcasts serially rather than in parallel. In other words, use both ears to listen one podcast at a time, rather than trying to listen to several podcasts simultaneously, one in each orifice.
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How soon is now?
At the third beep, the time sponsored by Immanuel Kant will be a sequence of abstract moments in a linear order.
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Where is my mind?
Way out in the water. See it spinning.
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Why can’t we live together?
Steady on, we’ve only just met.
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What’s he building in there?
We don’t know and we don’t want to know.
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Why are you being so reasonable now?
Je ne sais pas. Pourquoi es tu devenue si raisonable?
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When will I see you again?
It won’t be long before we share more precious moments because you’re never more than a couple of weeks away from a new Trust the Wizards podcast.
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When will we be paid for the work we’ve done?
The wizards are just doing this for the kids. The views expressed by the wizards do not in any way represent the views of our sponsors because we don’t currently have any. However, if you would like to sponsor us and give us free stuff, we are quite happy to say pretty much whatever you want us to.
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Why don’t you kill yourself?
Come on now, there’s no need for that.
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Why can’t the English teach their children how to speak?
A common feature of our podcasts is Kicker Of Elves getting all uppity over a song lyric that has a grammatical error in it. (Or should that be within it?)
To enjoy this and other recurring motifs in our podcasts, play Trust The Wizards Catchphrase Bingo (coming soon) whilst listening to a podcast.
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Where do we go from here?
Well, you could go down to that lake you fear but you’d be much better off going for a look at our blog.
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What’s that I hear?
It’s a Spotify playlist of all the question songs from this page.

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Why don’t you find out for yourself?
Follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, you know the drill.
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One response »

  1. Carl Combover says:

    Hi there!
    Heard your review of the Moon Duo gig, thanks for the kind words!
    The Beefheart track you mentioned is in fact Edgar Broughton Band ‘Apache Dropout’
    You guys might be interested in a garage band that me and Joe/TVAM play together in, we are called The Shook-Ups!
    Keep up the good word guys!
    Carl.

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